What if I Can’t Help It?
I mean really, what if it’s so entrenched in me – IT will never leave? What if I’ve done IT for so long I’ve become it?
It’s how I do life, so why change now-, here past midway ? I say I won’t and then before you know it -I’m back doing what feels comfortable and what I’m use to. It’s not that IT is so bad, it’s just that I do it unconsciously and always automatically and even when I’m ready to try something else I don’t because I’ve done this other thing so long I don’t know what else to do.
What if I can’t help it?
I don’t want to always jump in and lend a helping hand, fish for others and rush to take care of my kids responsibilities; but what if I can’t help it? What if I’ll always be the mom with the fishing pole in her hand- who refuses to let go and allow her children to fish for themselves? It’s not that I don’t think they can do it. This over doing, is about me. It’s like I can’t just quite get it through my DNA that it’s not the season to fish it’s the season to encourage and support.
What if I can’t help it? It appears that its time for me to fish for myself and hand their kids their own poles back and promise them I won’t snatch them out of their hands even when the fishing is lousy and they get discouraged. …
What If I Can’t Help It?
These two- these two incredible children of mine were the souls YOU used to teach me true LOVE. They stole my heart and offered me the opportunity to sacrifice. They let me experience just a tiny bit of what you go through with me each day. And yes, its more than time for me to stop fishing for them. I know. I know. I can’t help it- but YOU can. You have never taken my fishing pole for me or come in and solved all of my problems just because the fishing in my life has sucked. You are a God that liberates. You gave me free will. You are my constant strength and power and yet my choice controls your role in my life. I don’t want to be choosing others actions. That’s a little like playing God, now isn’t it- and bad god at that. I’m not here to fish for my kids now that they are grown up. I’m here to support and encourage and learn a new role. But dang. Lord. This isn’t easy for me – but since these miracles are really not mine and YOURS perhaps it’s time I trust them to you – entirely and surrender to the fact that the season of fishing for my children is long since past….Even when I can’t help it….I’m pretty sure YOU can. So today Lord- help me put down my fishing pole and take up instead a commitment to a life time of encouragement and support for these children of YOURS….
