Endings. Goodbye. Slowly I’m learning endings are nothing more than beginnings in drag.
You might be at an ending, an ending that has left you breathless, an ending that has landed you face down on the concrete. Take it from a woman whose been face down dozens of times, there’s nothing wrong with staying down for a count, two or even more.
Sometimes rest is exactly what the doctor ordered after an ending sneaks up on your soul. I’ve learned it’s best not to ignore, deny or mask loss. It ferments your heart and turns you into a bitter, toxic waste ,dump. Better to embrace the loss, invite the pain inside. Cuddle up. Be with it. Feel it. And slowly you will find the ending informing and becoming a part of you. When you’re ready, push through the darkest part of the goodbye and swim to the shore on the other side.
No one can tell you another person how long they should remain face down after an ending. Grieve as long as you need. But know, you will recover. You will. Grief is not linear. You will revisit parts of this goodbye, done, finish, loss forever. But soon you will be on the other side of this ending and it will undress right in front of your eyes to reveal a beginning, you could have never imagined. This will be a good day. It will.
And you will make it to your knees. And then you will rest again. It takes a lot of courage to go from dead and gone to kneeling. Don’t worry about what they’re saying. Muster your faith. Reserve your energy. Prepare for where the ending is leading.
This is a good time to ask new questions, to enertain new thoughts. Think about the doors in your house. And think about those halls. Doors lead places… Think about all those intersections you’ve traveled through. And note how similar this kneeling is to waiting for the light to turn green. And then when you are good and ready, stand, stand to your feetNow is the time to take love’s hand and fill your heart with faith and to regain your balance slowly. As you prepare for your next adventure all heaven will be celebrating a party in your honor and that ending will unveil itself to be nothing more than a new beginning in drag…
Why is Goodbye So Hard? Hope
Photo By Brittany Marshall