I guess it’s true, somewhere after four decades or thereabouts eyes rebel. And when eyes rebel they choose to either focus on what’s near or to see what’s far away…
My eyes seem to have chosen to focus on what’s close and rebel on all things far away.
My eyes have rebelled before and now that they are going fuzzy on me again I’m reminded how I always think I see everything – crystal clear.
The first time my eyes rebelled I was young. Or at least, younger. It was after the delivery of my daughter, for some reason hormones and new motherhood and being sort of pudgy made my eyes go all fuzzy and blurry. So I succumbed and wore glasses.
Thankfully I lost the pudge and learned how to rock the sexy librarian look.
And then one day I left my glasses at work and realized my eyesight seemed to have improved. Suddenly that which was blurry was sort of clear and with that I packed those sexy librarian accessories away and went back to being the girl who could see everything clearly. Fast forward three years or so and it was time for the girl with perfect vision to renew her drivers license.
So after waiting my prescribed two hours I handed the DMV clerk, the one with red hair and glasses my license and check.
Glancing at my information she confirmed my address and directed, “Put on your glasses and look into the machine. Start with the top row…”
Bewildered, I corrected her. “I don’t wear glasses.”
She smirked and cocked her head to the side, “Well that’s interesting, your license reads, ‘glasses required.’
My face grew hot.
Could it be? My mind rewound back four years ago. Of course. I’d worn my glasses when I was here last time. I’d taken that test with my fake eyes on.
“I give you credit for being so honest.”
“I haven’t’ worn glasses for years,” I admitted.
“Go ahead and press your forehead against the machine and tell me what you see.”
I breezed through the top of the chart.
The middle was a little more difficult and the bottom, the bottom was a disaster. Someone in the Department of Motor Vehicles had replaced the bottom two lines of the chart with small, miniature Chinease symbols.
“You passed, but just barely, I recommend you have your eyes checked …..”
So it has been in my life. I think I’m as clear as a Denver sky and come to find out I’m as blind as a bat.
And to boot I’ve often assumed I could fix most problems but body parts in decline are not something I’m very good at healing, come to find out.
Most days I see dimly and faintly what I will one day see clearly.
And many things I use to see clearly are now blurry and fuzzy and not at all what I once imagined them to be…
I’m eternally grateful that in God’s great wisdom things fail and some of life is dimly lit until it’s time to see clearly.
Someday we will all see clearly what now is faint and somewhat fuzzy…
Why Can’t I See Better?
Photos by Jordan Oram