Staring at the family photo, the last photo where they were happy… She closed her eyes. .
Her mind rewound. Mickey Mouse. Splash Mountain. A small world. Beauty and the Beast.
It was before hope had been broken, before her daughter’s diagnosis, when her family was whole.
Reaching deep into the shoe box she pulled out another photo.
Who would have known four months after Mickey Mouse her energetic twelve-year-old would become a cancer patient.
Rifling through the photos she found the photo of Deanna’s first day of chemo.
Where was the picture she couldn’t get out of her mind, the one she hadn’t seen in years? There it was… Deanna’s eyes had always been piercing blue but without eyelashes and eyebrows they were even more so maybe it was her scalp of stubble reminiscent of a grandfather’s?
Grabbing a handful of photos she sorted to find the perfect hand of memories.
The day they pulled Deanna out of school. The day the family moved across the nation to be near Deanna and the team of specialist that fought to save her life. Movie night in the cancer ward. The weekly prayer circles. Deanna was in a wheel chair. The blood transfusions. Her fifteenth birthday party. Her sister and her on the Make A Wish trip. All five of the kids at the Ronald Mcdonald house. The gang playing monopoly on her hospital bed. The day Deanna said goodbye and closed her eyes for the last time. ..Her tombstone. “Deanna you were the best daughter and sister we could have ever prayed for….”
In the years since Deanna’s passing she’d grown blurry. No mother should live so long as to bury her own child. Thank God for her husband. She stared at his photo. What would have become of them after Deanna’s death had it not been for him? She had no idea how he kept believing. She’d stopped. Her hope had been broke and buried that day in May with her daughter. Since then she’d become nothing more than a robot who got through the day but didn’t feel much of anything or believe most anyone.
Stuffing the photos back into the box she held the photo of the family with Mickey and the gang. Hope, hope had been so easy back then…but now her hope was broken.
What If My Hope Is Broken? Loss Inspiration
God allows pain as it reveals his character in human kind. The most painful experiences are opportunities to renew hope and trust in the eternal character of unmerited and unfailing love. Sorrow comes but so does joy as we learn to surrender our need to feel good or have every thing go our way.. Dear God- could you take all of these hurts and losses and bind them up- help us to let go of our anger toward you and heal these wounds. Dear spirit fill us with a vision as how these wounds of ours might be gifts to bless others. Pain…it is a tool in the hand of the CREATOR to reveal the majesty and character of all that is divine and eternal…