The first time it didn’t work I had options. I could have turned back. Found a new path. Pivoted, iterated as we say in lean startup. But no. I would not be denied. It would work this time. I was sure of it. So I put my head down, tried harder. Sped up. Pushed faster. When the door began to shut my reactions were quick enough and I got a body part in between the door and the jam. Sure it hurt to have the door squeezing shut with my flesh in between it and it’s goal. But what’s a little pain when the goal is in sight?
The next time I got closer, to winning. And still I had plenty of options to try something different but no I fought on. Worked harder. Argued more vehemently and doubled my investment.
Insanity. It’s been defined as doing the same thing over and over and expecting new results.
I’d like to blame my life insanity, my inability to learn my lessons, let go, stop fighting winless battles on the fact I don’t eat enough protein or even that my down comforter isn’t the highest quality.
But that sounds a lot like denial…. And we all know the reason I act all insane and do the same things over and over again even though I’ve promised myself to learn my lessons is that I’m hard headed and on occasion think I’m here to change things that clearly aren’t mine to change…
Insanity or Learning? Inspiration For This Crazy Life
I’m thankful for my down comforter and for protein. I’m not so thankful for this hard head of mine or this resistance to learning what obviously is mine to accept if I’d only stop fighting with reality. Forgive me for remaking the same mistakes. For trying to change things that have proven themselves over and over again resistant to change and transformation. Give me wisdom as to what to invest my precious life resources in and what to walk away from, surrender to you and make peace with as is. Please could you douse me with wisdom. And how about healing me from the insanity of doing things I’ve already done that didn’t work before and have given me every indicator will not work now…. And perhaps while you are at it you could throw in an entree of humor, plenty of laughter and a side of flexibility. I promise you. I don’t want to act all insane and do the same things over and over expecting new results- I guess I could use a little help learning how to not fight with reality and doing a better job of picking the battles you’ve called me to invest my precious life resources into so that I don’t waste all my moments acting all hard headed and insane like.