Who hasn’t over indulged?
Too much. Too full. I am and yet it’s not food – I’ve been overindulgent in- it’s life.
Yep. I have life indigestion.
Too much. Too full. Am I.
How do I know?
I’m gassy in my spirit- restless, waking up in the middle of the night, anxious, distracted during conversations -not present – never where I am but instead back in the prior hour worrying about what I’m still carrying from the last conversation or worse yet- up ahead a couple days from now, worrying about what might go wrong.
Yep. I have life indigestion. Too much. Too full. Am I.
You know the feel I know you do. When one moment bleeds into the next when you carry one responsibility into your next face to face encounter. When your body is in one place and your heart in another and still yet- your mind another. When you have bitten off more than you can chew, let alone digest. When life’s too hectic, the pace to quick and when you lose your connection with peace and contentment and quiet moments of prayer and reflection.
I thought I was over this silliness. I thought I’d learned my lesson about racing through life not allowing big swatches of white space and ample time for rest, worship and play. But no. This past month or is it six months has served to remind me I’m still vulnerable to overindulging whenever there’s too much to do which promises to feed my ego and build my confidence.
And so today I began a life- fast.
A life fast. I use to take three day silent retreats regularly it was a part of my spiritual disciplines a way for me to remain grounded, connected to my source and helped me in my practice of presence and peace. Yes. Practice. I’m either practicing peace or I’m practicing stress and anxiety.
In this fast I’ll be dialing my pace down. I’ll be saying NO – even more. I”ll be doing less to show up more. I’ll be refusing to carry anything into each new moment but that which shows up. I’ll be marking out big swatches of time for solitude and silence. I’ll be waking up early to spend time meditating and walking and I’ll be going back to the practices which allow for my spirit to be less gassy and noxious and more peaceful and content.
Less is more. I know this
. And now to be the woman I want to be- not this over indulging life hog rushing through life as if it’s a race and treating people and breaths as if they aren’t precious gifts.
A life fast.
Here’s to letting go of habits, ways of being and negative practices which rob me of peace and the presence necessary to steward healthy, loving relationships and a joy.
Let the life fast begin. Because I’ve had too much…I am too full.
Photo By Beach Bum Brian