I have been a student at the feet of forgiveness for years.
As a mother I needed forgiveness so bad I cried myself to sleep most nights for over a year and a half.
It was during this time period I visited the hell of un-forgiveness.
And then by grace’s chance, I stumbled upon an angel who inspired me to trust I could be forgiven and even better forgive and open my heart up to trust again. .
It was then I learned that my freedom, my very spirit and it’s ability to soar was inexplicably tied to my ability to forgive- resiliently.
The angel of mercy . The bearer of grace called me out of bitterness into a new season.
I’ve been saved.
And still as any saved soul will admit the demons still come around. Resentment, bitterness and all their second cousins show up any time I invite them in urging me to lock up my heart, throw away the key and guard myself against any more betrayals or heart breaks.
I’m no saint.
I am tempted every Thursday right after lunch to rewind hamster like through the wrongs I’ve suffered at the hands of others.
I know, I am in no way beyond the point I could be seduced into un-forgiveness.
Matter of fact, I count it a bloody miracle I understand that everyone who has ever offended or hurt me has done exactly what I’ve done to others, mostly unconsciously and deserves the forgiveness I hunger for from those I’ve hurt and the forgiveness I receive daily even though I don’t deserve it from my Creator.
She saved me.
She flew in on the wings of hope.
Freed me from victimhood.
Healed my soul.
Tutored me in grace and mercy.
As I commit to her -I sense the hell of un-forgiveness giving away to wings, yes wings I’m growing them here while I still have feet.
I swear. Forgiveness is an angel. A resilient one.